This week we learned about Gridlock.   Gridlock is when couples have the same argument over and over again without resolution.   For example, He wants children, she doesn’t.   She wants to go to church, he doesn’t believe in God.   Gridlock causes compromise to be impossible.   When I’ve seen friends in Gridlock (which most of the time lead to divorce) I kind of thought—get over it!   Is this really worth your marriage?!   But my husband and I haven’t ever really gone through Gridlock.   We are able to talk about our issues and if one of us feels more strongly about something, we’re able to support the other.   (especially when it comes to raising children)   We’ve been lucky! According to John M. Gottman, you’ve reached gridlock if: 1. You’ve had the same argument over and over without resolution. 2. Neither of you can address the situation with humor, empathy or affection. 3. The issue is becoming increasingly polarizing as...

John M. Gottman talks about turning to our spouses.   Thinking of them and having them apart of decisions.   A very simple way is for husbands to put the toilet seat down when they are done.   It literally takes a millisecond for either partner to do, yet it can cause so much strife in a marriage.   This made me think about putting the toilet paper on the roll.   It’s something my husband NEVER did.   I would get annoyed and frustrated, but after years of being frustrated, I realized I never told him about my frustrations.   Once I told him, he now tries very hard to replace the toilet paper and doesn’t even give me a hard time when I don’t do it.   These are prime examples for easy ways for us to turn to our spouses.   How do you unwind after a long day at work?   The best way would be turn to your spouse.   Talk with them, tell them about your frustrations and happiness. Pride is a reason we would not turn to our spous...

1 What are the little ways in which you stay connected by turning toward your spouse, or someone close to you? What impact do these little actions have on your relationship? We have 5 small children.   Right now, our kids still go to bed relatively early.   I enjoy that time to “turn to” my husband and enjoy time together when the kids go down.   We either watch TV, do a project together, do homework together, play a game, or even just talk. I am a stay at home mom…there are some days when I just wait until 5pm when my husband comes home.   This happens on the HARD days.   The days when everyone is whiny and no one wants to listen.   I don’t enjoy those days much.   On these days, my husband comes home and just knows.   He knows to step right up and help with the kids.   Its these nights that usually we get take out and talk, or watch TV together. Lately, we’ve been working on weight loss together.   Its been so fun doing i...