Staying Connected

I really enjoyed the address given by Richard B. Miller, PhD about Who’sthe Boss?  Power Relationships in Families.  He gives such practical information for families to learn from and grow from!  He shares, “In healthy, well-functioning families, there is a clear hierarchy between parents and children. Parents are the “executive committee” and the “board of directors” of a family. As with any other leadership position, parents should not be harsh, domineering, or dictatorial, but they are the leaders of the family, and the children need to follow that leadership.”

Such a simple yet profound way to think about a family.  Mom and Dad are in charge—but not a dictatorship.  Parents should talk with the children when making decisions, especially as the children get older.  This is where family councils come in and are so important. 

We had a family council this week.  It was eye opening!  My children are on the young side, so its really something we hadn’t done before.  When it was over, I asked my two older children (age 5 & 7) what their favorite part of the council was, (I was expecting them to say the refreshments) and they said it was planning our vacation.  It taught me that its important for my kids to be more involved in those decisions. 

The next quote that stood out to me, “Parents… should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time. The husband should treat his wife with the utmost courtesy and respect. The husband should never insult her; he should never speak slightly of her, but should always hold her in the highest esteem in the home, in the presence of their children… The wife, also, should treat the husband with the greatest respect and courtesy. Her words to him should not be keen and cutting and sarcastic. She should not pass slurs or insinuations at him… Then it will be easy for the parents to instill into the hearts of their children not only love for their fathers and their mothers, not only respect and courtesy towards their parents, but love and courtesy and deference between the children at home (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, pp. 283–284)”

Such a template of how we as parents should be living our lives and treating our spouse.  By doing this our children will love their parents and have love and respect in the home.  What a blessing and promise made by a prophet!